I’ve heard it said that having a child is like watching your heart run around outside your body.
You feel every ache, pain and slight that they do.
And, man, it hurts.
This week Boy Wonder had a falling out with a friend.
The worst kind.
Words designed to caused maximum damage were hurled in his direction.
The lioness in me wanted to spring to his defence. To attack those who had caused such anguish.
But I couldn’t.
Knowing that I cannot keep stepping in to fight his battles, I projected a calm and self-restraint.
While inside, my heart was breaking.
“Do something mum”
“Why aren’t you doing anything?”
“You’re just too lazy ”
“You don’t care about me”
And there we were. Right back to BW aged 2, thrusting a broken biscuit in my direction, begging me to fix it.
Do your children expect you to be able to fix everything? Do you? Or do you try to teach them to navigate the world themselves?
That’s so hard. I don’t know how I’m going to go with that one when my son is older. He’s 2 & my husband constantly says I over mother him & I know I will have to let him fight his own battles at some stage but I can’t just yet
It’s so hard…
Yes. Oh yes, yes yes. This is the heart wrenching part that has me biting my sleeve in case I go in too hard / too soon / unnecessarily…. It’s the thing that most makes my heart quicken, wanting to defend my daughter. The more she grows, the more my agony does alongside her! Ack. Not wanting the world around her to shape (change) her. But it’s impossible, for it must be. Even the horrible, most painfully designed fallings-out. I want to, but I know I can’t (should not) fix them for her.
So hard. xxxxx
So hard. Instinct says protect. Head says they must learn themselves…
This is so timely. I am worried about my 7 y.o. There’s a boy on his soccer team who has immediately taken to saying nasty things and purposefully hurting my son whenever there’s an opportunity on the soccer field. No one else seems to notice, least of all the boy’s dad, but my son has come to me in tears. I told him that the boy doesn’t know him yet, and once they’ve had some time to get to know one another and realise they are on the same team, that hopefully things will calm down. I hope this is true, because I’m actually in danger of running on to the field myself if he does anything to seriously hurt my child (to do what, I have no idea, but most likely pull my son off the field in a mortifyingly embarrassing way). Mama Bear instincts are running rampant for me right now, but I just can’t help it.
Mama Bear instincts are totally natural! As is the need to get them to stand up for themselves
Thanks for reading.
There are no words this week. I have tried, but we have cracked and have finally had to stand in and try to stop it. I totally get what you are saying, I fully support it, but sometimes a line is crossed and Mama has to do her thing.
I so hope that this doesn’t get to that point for you my lovely friend and may he find a new biscuit soon xx
Totally get where you are coming from. There is a definite line for me that once crossed, I will get involved. We have emailed the school about this week, just to keep them informed. Onwards x
I feel your heartache.
My heart ripped apart more than ever before when my girl got her first broken heart from her first love.
I physically hurt as she said to me through giant sobs while lying crumbled in my arms “oh Mum it really hurts so bad,I can actually feel the pain in my heart,Mum when will it stop ”
Nothing hurts a mama more than when her baby says ‘do something mum’ and she cant make it all better.
Big hugs.Xx
That is so hard! Don’t think I’ll be able to cope
This pulled at something inside of me.
Thanks x
Sending hugs your way! We have only briefly had an introduction to bullying and that is at kinder level.
This is my worst fear, I hope I do the right thing when the time comes, but I am worried my mama bear instincts will take over.
It’s definitely a balancing act for mama bear.
i am also currently struggling with the balance i need to find between intervening in case of fallouts and meltdowns with teachers or other children or letting either others deal with it and hoping my son gets to the point where he might be able to use his ‘tools’ to make up for the lack of social skills. it’s VERY hard.. i feel you.
on the other side, this constant struggle sometimes makes me weaken up on things that are really best left for them to figure out/solve/find back etc, so today i presented him with an award for Courage&Persistence and ‘getting his own stuff’ because he did dive under the bed and looked with a torch until he had found his damn DS stylus himself… it’s also a reminder for myself. to not just replace the cookie. because some battles they have to fight themselves. good post.
Great comment. So glad I sat this one out as the boys resolved it themselves. So proud. But so hard to sit on my hands!