You know how much I love social media, particularly twitter. Connecting with people from around the world, accessing breaking news and broadening my horizons will never lose its appeal.
But as with most things in life, there is a down side.
Not all connections made are good ones.
Ever received a friend request on Facebook from someone who bullied you mercilessly at school? Or a toxic ex you hoped had disappeared forever?
I bet you have.
This week, while updating my LinkedIn profile, I clicked through to “People you may Know”.
It was late, I was tired, just skimming through.
Then I saw her name.
My heart skipped a beat.
My mother’s name.
Who I haven’t seen since 1995. Who hasn’t met my husband or my children.
(It’s a long story, but one of the best decisions I ever made)
As far as I know she is retired, so what was she doing on there?
I realised as soon as clicked through to her profile, she would know I had looked.
Cue frantic privacy setting changes.
Once my breathing had returned to normal, I sloped off to bed.
Laying there in the dark, I wondered how the LinkedIn algorithms worked.
She doesn’t have my email address. She isn’t in contact with anyone I am connected to.
She must have looked me up.
Thank goodness for privacy settings.
But is it worth worrying about it? Can anyone really be anonymous today?
In my case, no. I have a blog for a start!
And even if I didn’t have a blog, a quick google of my name shows my LinkedIn profile, twitter account, a link to a feature I wrote, and a misspelt Facebook link which ultimately leads you to my account.
What people see once they click these links is limited because I am careful with privacy settings (except twitter), but you can still see me. The city I live in and an idea of what I’m up to.
My social media footprint is there.
Now I have nothing to hide (being a bit of an over sharer), but what if you do?
What if you are escaping an abusive relationship or looking for a job?
That 2am sweary twitter rant might be just the thing a prospective employer is looking for, before deciding whether or not to call you in for an interview.
They way I have talked openly about my mental health issues might put people off.
Worrying about how I was perceived online, I attempted to make the blog anonymous (ha!).
Not anymore.
If I want to keep something private, it stays in my head.
The fact that my mother can trace me, doesn’t worry me either.
But it’s a cautionary tale.
Social media can offer as many unwanted connections as those we seek to make.
So, so true! Sometimes its scary. I guess there has to be a filter. Keep private stuff close to your heart and off the internet. Poor you, not fun xx
Thanks Leigh, it’s all good. Just another lesson learned x
Totally agree! Which is why I use many names & go privacy crazy but still can be stalked. A good lesson for kids starting their online footprint – see you on LinkedIn ; )
Definitely!
Oh yes!
I’ve tried to work by the theory I would say on my blog only things I felt comfortable saying in person.
Was a bit worried when my daughters classmates found my blog while googling for mcDonalds because te content isn’t for children.
Relieved when my husband said someone at head office was reading it, because there is nothing there to put them off.
That’s a really good thing to remember. x
So sad to hear about you and your mother. With no hubby and family, my mother’s my rock.
As for the privacy thing. I used to work at a misconduct and crime commission and our investigators LOVED social media for the stuff they could find out. I know for a fact that there are companies out there who will investigate people for clients (prospective employers and the like) and who are experts in trawling through the quagmire that is the internet to dig out info.
Deb
Wow, that is a cautionary tale!
Excellent post. I think about this a lot!! I’ve avoided talking about done things because I just don’t want it out there.
It is very hard sometimes. x
It’s a tricky thing isn’t it. My basic rule is I on;y put stuff out there I am happy for anyone, including employers to read.
FOr me the next thing is my kids and their friends, who are online, that it another tricky thing altogether!
Not looking forward to navigating that mine field!
I hear you! As a high school teacher I’d be finished (for a while) if my students found my blog, let alone my original ranty Twitter account.
One of the first things I read about blogging was, ‘don’t write something about someone that you couldn’t say to their face’. I think this is a good all round rule.
My Man works in a corporate job and hates LinkedIn. I also have a friend who says that Facebook is the work of the devil.
Everything in moderation…
Your point about blogging is so true x
Excellent post. I think about this quite often too. But, like you, I have nothing to hide, and feel ok to indulge in the overshare or the occasional potty mouth tweet… I guess I like the idea of being transparent online. What you see is what you get.
But then, I think about my 13 year old daughter. And I say “you have to be so careful what you say and do online!!” Which she is, her privacy settings are bolted right down… but then I check myself and wonder if I heed my own warning…
It’s a whole new way of operating in the world isn’t it? Not only managing homes, children, marriages, work responsibilities, but also managing social networks… it’s a minefield.
Thanks for reading, Jane. Yes. I’m also worrying about how the children will feel when they eventually come across the blog…
I’m sure they will be proud of having a Mum with a voice that is 100% authentic
thanks Jane, I hope it is.
It’s pretty easy to be tracked down. As you said, if you want to keep something private keep it in your head. It’s why I don’t create an identifiable online footprint for my kids.
Very wise. I do worry about what my two will make of the blog, but hopefully they’ll see the love x
Love this. My blog is clearly mine, but ppl in my professional life would have to search hard to connect me to it, because my personal FB is so locked down I’m surprised *I* can see it
hahaha
better safe than sorry x
Having been a journalist for most of my adult life, I was quite content with the notion that people could google me and find out a lot about me. But then comments on blogs, rather like this, came up too. It is insidious that digital footprint.
Definitely!
If you click and post it online then decide to delete if. It is still traceable. Sorry about your experience, unfortunately with social media and the new generation it will become a place where at some stage we will all be traceable xxx
Exactly. We all need to proceed with caution x
It’s so hard to keep anything a secret, I’m pretty careful with what I put online, I wouldn’t put anything up that I would want my grandma to read (she and grandpa have a Facebook page). But I often get that butterfly feeling of an ex-boyfriend who I don’t want to know about, seeing my business. I hope you’re ok!
all good Clare